I am currently one week out from shoulder surgery, I am looking
forward to it, as a relief for the pain I've been in. I am also dreading it,
as I know re-habilitation will start all over again.
I know that this is a major part of life, especially as a Christian that
has struggled, in the past with addiction. When you fall into any addiction,
Satan will take you as low as he can. He will push you to the very limits
of your conscience, and try to push you farther than the last time.
It's like a one pack a day smoker that quits smoking. If for any reason
they take the habit back up, one pack is not enough anymore, Satan
is still pushing deeper and deeper into the addiction.
There was a period, for me, of getting drunk on the weekends. I went
from social drinking to alcoholism in a very short time. From nursing a drink
for a whole party, to bringing my own bottle of whisky, and I wasn't
sharing. I never knew where I was going to wake up, on a floor, on a
couch, it didn't matter to me, just get me another bottle.
I was a functioning alcoholic, I held down a good job in the oilfields,
and drank on my days off. That was my limit, did Satan try to push me
farther into oblivion, of course he did.
Just as with my re-hab after surgery, I had a long re-hab back into
my Christian walk. It's not that God hadn't forgiven me, that's the easy part.
God grants His forgiveness instantaneously. It was me, forgiving myself
that took the time. For any of us that have fallen into sin, the hardest
part is forgiving ourselves.
We have to live and fight, day to day, against our weakness to sin.
We have to live each day, as if it was our last day on earth. Living
like that, takes away a lot of Satan's power over us. It also takes away
a lot of fear in our lives, we worry less about what others think of us,
and more about what we can do for God. Living day to day, also
shows us how urgent it is, to tell our loved ones we love them, and
to tell them of our Savior, so that their eternity is with us in heaven.
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